I remember getting my first purse in fourth or fifth grade. This was the late 70's, and my budding fashion sense--inspired by current trends--was questionable at best. The outside of the bag was tan canvas with a brown corduroy flap and a twist lock that closed through a metal hole in the flap. I had also somehow convinced my mother to buy me some Yo-Yo's (a platform sandal with a circular hole in the heel). This was quite an accomplishment, as they were both tacky and trendy, and my mother preferred more sensible clothing. I have a clear memory of walking down the halls of my elementary school, feathered hair held up by a comb on one side, swaying in my clunky shoes, purse crossways across my body resting on my left hip, feeling so very grown up.

I remember trying to figure out what should go in a purse, and settling on some Lipsmackers lip gloss (and whatever other make up I could get away with), a long handled comb, various barrettes and hair accessories, notes from friends, and the colored pens and stickers we used when we wrote notes to each other. We wrote notes daily. I found shoeboxes full of them when I cleaned out my closet before leaving for college, hundreds of artistically folded pieces of paper, filled with drawings, stickers, old gossip and crushes.

My girlfriends and I couldn't wait to be grown up. We all wanted to get a bras, shave our legs, wear make up: many things I find tedious now seemed so exciting then.

I see my three-year-old daughter being fascinated by nail polish and make up, and I understand the magnetic attraction to these things. I also feel a tinge of sadness. I want her to hold on to her childhood, to not get caught up in the pressures to define herself by what she wears and how she looks, and all the rest of the struggles of adolescence that await her.

Daughter, we are women for so much longer than we are girls, and what seems like freedom to you now may feel like confinement later.

You will have to find a path to your own vision of womanhood, and there will be many expectations placed upon you along the way.

You are smart and strong, brave and loved. Each of these things will be important.

There is much to discover, and learn, and there is great power and joy in becoming who you wish to be.

But there is plenty of time.

Enjoy the newness of now, the everyday discoveries, the increasing strength and agility of your growing body.

Play. Dance.

Don't be in a hurry.